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Terrible Two’s Weeknight Special – An Essay

OMG last night in the thick of dealing with the terrible two’s, I posted on facebook that rather than a two’s program, there should be a boot camp or boarding school situation for two year olds. Brian is a really good natured kid but the “two’s” are really getting the best of him lately. It’s INSANE. He freaks out over the littlest things, like FREAKS OUT/TANTRUM style. For example, here is how our night went:

We arrived home from a birthday party around 5:00 p.m. last night. I went to get him out of the car but instead of getting out, he wanted to play in the car. He likes to sit in the front seat and play with all the buttons (don’t worry it’s off). I said no because Grace was crying for a bottle and had to literally drag him out of the car kicking and screaming. I managed to get him in the house and ignored him until it passed. Then, I put a show on for him so I could sit down and feed Grace. As I’m giving her a bottle, I checked my phone for messages was enjoying a little downtime on instagram and facebook. He comes over and says “my phone” and takes it away from me and starts playing with it. I didn’t have the energy to fight back.

Next up, dinner time! I’ve learned not to fight with him on this one. I’m not going to ask him what he wants, I’m going to give him his dinner and if he wants it great if not, tough. I’m hoping he learns to become a better eater this way. I put him in his high chair, he screams and fights that he doesn’t want to eat in that anymore (which has been going on for a couple weeks) He wants to sit at the counter like a big boy, fine.  I put a dishtowel under his tush because the chairs are wicker and at this point in the night he only has a diaper on. He doesn’t want that specific dishtowel so repeats, “no, the green one” until I spot the one he wants, and change it out. Bonus, he actually eats most of what I give him!!!! Raw peppers and cucumbers, hummus, cheese and grapes. He didn’t want the chicken that was on the plate. He asked for raisins but I said not until you eat the chicken, so no raisins.

Dad comes home – YAYYY!!! And bonus, dad came home with two bottles of wine!! Christmas. I quickly open the bottle and pour a glass of red. I swear without wine, these terrible two’s would be soooo much worse. After my first sip, I feel relaxed. Sorry if that sounds alcoholic-ish but it works.

(Oh and in the background of all this, I’m cooking bolognese sauce with Grace in her happy place – the Bjorn) The bolognese is done, I put Grace in her new bouncer, and we play with Brian for a little bit, he’s so happy.

Bath time. Brian, do you want to take a shower with mama? (this is how we’ve been doing it lately because it kills two birds with one stone and Brian is home to be with Grace in case she cries). “No”. “Okay well it’s time so come on up, we’ll do numbers and letters!”. He actually listens and comes. Once we get in the bathroom he screams and cries because he doesn’t want to get in. I throw the foam letters and numbers in and he wants to get undressed and come in, great. Time to get out, “NOOO!!!”. “Brian daddy is going to get upset if you don’t get out”, nothing. Dad screams from down the stairs, Mom do I need to come up? Brian quickly jumps into my arms and gives me a kiss. It’s amazing what a stern man’s voice can do!!

We decide since it’s 7:30 and he had a short nap to put him down to bed. I could write an essay on this one but I’ll spare you. 7 books later, both Mom and Dad in and out of the room, about 5 minutes of broken up crying spells and he’s down.

Sometimes when the dust settles, I go in his room while he’s sleeping and gaze at him for quite a while. I love watching him sleep so peaceful. The love for your children is so unconditional that after 5 minutes, you forget the torture they put you through and your heart explodes for them again.

Enter second sip (gulp) of wine.

Brian and I eat our dinner, Grace is peaceful in her bouncer, Brian offers to clean up (love that he’s back from his business trip) and talk about stuff. Some topics we covered are that he can never leave on a business trip again, I talk about how military wives are true heroes for what they do on a daily basis, I mean raising families alone with their husbands fighting for our country?? It’s insane how strong these women are, they don’t even have the guarantee they their husbands will come home? I need to write more in length about that. We talk about his trip, and I talk about how we got through the week. Brian throws in that we are in hell (haha) exaggeration, but we talk about little Brian and how we’re going to get the terrible two’s under control. Some ideas we have are to continue ignoring the tantrums, he’s sensitive so tell him when he gets snippy that we are hurt and pretend to cry/be really upset, distract distract distract.

Isn’t it lovely????