I have had my new years resolutions blog post sitting in drafts for about 3 weeks now, and something just didn’t feel quite right about hitting publish so I’m switching gears. Rather than focusing on goals and resolutions for 2020, I’m focusing on intentions, or more general approaches to life. My words for this year are simplicity and authenticity. Let’s jump right in, shall we?
Simplicity. This is a big one, I am simplifying my life by cutting out the clutter, the clutter that distracts me from what’s really important which is my family, my marriage, my friends, and my work. Clutter looks so very different to everyone but here is what my clutter looks like:
STUFF, as in material objects. Part of my job as a blogger and being on social media is presenting what’s new and “trending” to my readers. I earn an income from showing you what I am using, wearing, and loving in my life but I desperately need to simplify in this area. Here’s the thing, what makes it to YOU is what I genuinely use and love, what you don’t see is about 80% of what I actually take into my home. It’s all stuff that either gets sent to me by PR agencies or things I ordered to show you that didn’t make the cut. What I order and don’t like I can usually return, but everything else gets donated which is great, but the constant rotation of “things” in and out just seems so excessive. I think I have a pretty solid solution to this which I will cover in the next section, authenticity!
INDECISIVENESS. One of the most beautiful things I am experiencing as I get older is my ability to make solid decisions and not look back. The indecisiveness that used to haunt me about pretty much every facet of my life, i.e. going to work events and social functions, taking on various work projects, traveling, hiring a house cleaner, etc… I used to slave over decisions like this and it brought on a lot of anxiety actually. I’m happy to report though, that over the past few months, this is pretty much gone. I think as you get older you kind of learn that dwelling on decisions and second guessing is just wasted time. I make decisions pretty selfishly right now in this season of life. If it’s not going to have a positive effect on the crucial areas of my life, like my kids, my marriage or my career, then the answer is no. If it is, then the answer is yes and the benefit outweighs the risk, done, look forward.
Example, the most recent trip Brian and I took to Hawaii. In early December we decided to go. We knew it would be so good for our YL business to meet and learn from our peers in the industry and although there was some hesitation about leaving the kids, we ultimately decided that the benefit of going far outweighed the risks which were mainly emotions about missing the kids and the kids missing us. After our “yes”, we didn’t look back. We looked at the bright side of leaving the kids with my parents and it was wonderful for them to bond while we were gone, and the trip was a massive success!
RELATIONSHIPS. This is an area I’ve always been pretty good at. I was never that girl who had a massive group of girlfriends or in “cliques”, YUK I even hate the word! I have always, and will always have a solid core of close friends, and they are from all different times in my life. I keep in close contact with the people who I love, and am a very happy acquaintance of people I like! I’ve never felt pressure to be here or there because this friend would be upset or mad, my people get me, I get them, I love them, I like them, there has never been drama and that’s just the way I like it 🙂
NOT ENOUGH. This is a big source of clutter for me, UGH. It’s a distraction that I’m seriously working on. Often times, I feel like I’m never doing enough. Not enough attention to my kids, to my husband, to my blog, to my oils team, my brand partners, my friends + family. All will be well in the world, and then I’ll have a moment like, shit I suck. I’m pretty positive it goes hand-in-hand with feeling overwhelmed so for me, to combat that, I think I need to plan better. Make a schedule for work and life, and stick to it, journal tasks and affirmations in the morning and in the evenings, use my oils for emotional support, etc… I think planning and getting to know the ins and outs of my days before being reactive will help me to be more present.
So that’s my plan on SIMPLIFYING. Now let’s talk on AUTHENTICITY.
Authenticity. I’m pretty solid with this one in my personal life as my friends and family will tell you, what you see is what you get, so this is more geared towards my work life, Pure Joy Home.
I hate to admit this, but sometimes I think I’m driven to act based on how I think others will respond. Ugh. This may be totally unrelatable if you’re not in my industry so let’s use the fashion vertical of my blog. Everyone is sharing Amazon clothes, right? All my friends tell me how well it’s performing for them and that their audience is just loving it. So I say to myself, let me try Amazon. The clothes come in and most of them are TOTAL SHIT quality, minus a few gems which I’ve shared with you. I could share so much more but that is NOT ME. If I wouldn’t wear this in my life, I am not going to stand there and tell you to buy it. NOT HAPPENING. Who needs it? No one.
Many of my peers in the blogging world share A LOT. Every time I go to their page it’s a new try on from a new store, and let me just first say, I RESPECT that. These girls are literally the store fronts of Instagram. They try on the clothes and review them for you so you don’t have to, and that is a wonderful thing, and a blessing to many who can not do that. They are providing a helpful service to their audience, and their audience LOVES it! It’s a total win-win situation for both parties.
Where I struggle with this is feeling like I need to do the same, or keep up because again, that feeling of not being ENOUGH for my audience creeps in. How do they rotate so many clothes through their home? Something you will commonly hear out of my mouth at home, “Bri, I seriously think I need to up my game here because look how well this is working out for them!”, “How are they always so put together and how do they have so many different outfits to share?”, “What is wrong with me??”.
Nothing is wrong with me, THAT is not me. It’s not where my interests lie and that is OKAY. I’m more of a “find a killer pair of jeans and wear them until they rip” kind of girl, “find a killer dress from Anthro that stands out from the rest and feel like a million bucks”. That’s the girl I am, and that’s who I want to stay true to. I want to wear the clothes that make me feel like me and not get sucked into the trap of what everyone else is telling me to wear.
I want to share what I love, and only that.
I also want to share at a pace that’s comfortable with me which kind of ties into the simplicity theme. Often times I feel a sort of pressure to share x amount of times per day and sometimes when you’re trying to fill in the gaps, the end result is … CLUTTER, ya know? So I’d like to be more aware and honor the moments that work out, but leave be the moments that don’t!
Okay this feels like a therapy session!! I’ve probably bored you to tears at this point, sorry guys!
With the baby coming in May, and something else VERY big happening in March (it’s literally KILLING me that I can’t tell you yet) I think this whole shift in focus is so important. If motherhood has taught me anything, it’s that time goes by SO FREAKING FAST and these “overlying themes” are geared towards slowing down and freeing myself up to enjoy the good stuff, while still being present and growing in my career. It’s about balance and not losing myself in this crazy world that pulls us in so many different directions, all of the time.
Love you all, thank you for hearing me out! Do you have any thoughts on this? Share below in the comments 🙂